I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
