I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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