May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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