Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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