just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
