Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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