In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
