So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
