guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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