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I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
