I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hippo gnu deer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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