You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
