well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
