He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.