For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize