1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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