only if we run a train.
done.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
