I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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