garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
