is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
