you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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