Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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