found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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