She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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