He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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