wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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