I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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