You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
