Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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