So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
