Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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