so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
