honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
