i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
