I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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