You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
