she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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