last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
