i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Congratulations! We have a period
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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