She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
