It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
