OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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