he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
