basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
