Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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