need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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