I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
