No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
