You can't special order awesome
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
