haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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