smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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