Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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