someone threw a dead crab at me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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