Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
