some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
