now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
