Screwed.edu
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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